The Capability of Vulnerability

One might ask themselves, what is vulnerability? Vulnerability is having the ability to open up and speak to others, with the acknowledgment that you might be criticized. Since vulnerability is difficult for many, it becomes a weakness that limits their capability of communicating with others, due to their instincts of fear. 

In Brene Brown’s TedTalk, the researcher discusses her journey of investigating and studying courage, shame, and most importantly vulnerability. After diving deep into her research of vulnerability, she separated her data into two separate groups: one group of people who felt that they are worthy of love, and another group of people who struggle to believe so. Brown found the feeling of being loved is established from having courage not feeling any shame, while not feeling that sense of belonging correlates to feeling shame. To solve this issue of vulnerability, Brown suggests to accept it, and try to work on yourself to be able to break down the wall of vulnerability you have around surrounding yourself.

Although Brown’s suggestions and advice might be difficult to act in accordance with, the least you can do is TRY! Try speaking about your feelings. Try trusting people. I know, stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy. Once a person opens up to a friend, family member, or even teacher, they’ll understand how great it feels to talk about their feelings, and for others to listen and care about them. However, this does not mean that you can trust anyone with your feelings. Be particular with who you are vulnerable with. Showing vulnerability to just anyone is never good, because this can be seen as weakness. So, be attentive to who you choose to be vulnerable with. 

A real life example of someone who wasn't vulnerable and became vulnerable is Johnny Depp. Depp was accused of allegedly abusing his ex-wife Amber Heard. Recently, Heard decided to speak up about what she had experienced in her and Depp’s relationship, through a lawsuit. Heard claimed that Depp had assaulted her physically and mentally on multiple occasions. After the lawsuit was exposed to the whole world, Depp decided to step up, and speak about his view and experiences in their relationship. Depp displayed a substantial amount of vulnerability as he discussed his stories on how conversely, Heard had abused him. Before the lawsuit occured, Depp hadn’t been the vulnerable type and spoke about his feelings. However, once the lawsuit was initiated, he let down his wall of fear and portrayed vulnerability.

This TedTalk was truly eye-opening for me, and helped me learn new concepts. I learned that how vulnerable and shameful we are is in our hands, and nobody else. Personally, I find it difficult to show vulnerability for a number of reasons, but most importantly because I can never be assured of who I can trust. Even if I do trust a person, how can I be certain that I won't be betrayed?